1. Everyone asks for your recipe (…for everything).
2. You’re famous for your parties, and anyone who gets an invite R.S.V.P.s: OMG YES.
3. You’re always “that” person with a bag full of everything (“just in case”). Safety pins, tissues, random buttons, white vinegar (“It’s for stains, okay? Why are you looking at me like that?”) — someone needs it; you’ve got it.
4. Uh oh, someone has a wardrobe malfunction? Or needs a button sewn? Or a snagged thread fixed? You know exactly what to do.
5. Your motto is “Live Free and DIY.”
6. “That’s so beautiful! Where’d you get it?” is a question you regularly answer with, “Oh, thanks; I made it.” Cue jaws dropping.
7. For other people, shopping means a day at the mall. For you, it means coming home with yarn … lots and lots and lots of yarn.
8. You’re that person who obsesses over picking cards. And when you find the perfect card for someone: life goal achieved.
9. Torture is choosing between two nearly identical paint swatches. Your roommates have been known to roll their eyes at you, but they just don’t get it. It’s not just a paint color. It’s a life decision!
10. Your coworkers always swarm over your dish at the office potluck. Macaroni salad: Pfft. How pedestrian!
11. Your cakes, well, take the cake.
12. “Glass cloches are the new mason jars.” (Something you’ve actually said.)
13. “Can you just be my personal interior designer please?” (Something someone has actually said to YOU.)
14. And your home — even we’ll admit it’s totally Instagram-worthy.
15. You’re always on the lookout for hidden treasures at flea markets and antiques stores. You actually LIKE antiquing. You see the potential in everything.
(Of course, there was that one time you spent six hours gluing tiny individual sequins to ornaments, but come on, that was SO WORTH IT.)
16. Nevertheless, your to-do list is on point.
17. And it goes without saying that you’re the pre-appointed party planner. Halloween! Christmas! The Fourth of July! You take all of the holidays to the next level. Picking your favorite day is like picking your favorite child.
18. But hands down, you will have THE most-talked about Halloween costume this year.
19. And anyone who’s a friend of yours can expect a thoughtful handmade gift. Last year, it was a pair of hand-knit mittens. This year, perhaps a collection of decoupaged photographs.
20. Your friends are always in awe of your crafts, your cooking, and your decorating skills. And you’ve heard it more than once: “You should think about making this a career!”
And hey, maybe, like Martha, you should. (Wink.)