1. If there’s time to sit, there’s time to knit.
Watching a movie? Time to knit. Waiting for the bus? Time to knit. Watching your kid’s dance recital? Just kidding — you’ll actually watch that one (or will you…?). Regardless, knitting’s become second nature for your fingers. If your hands sit still for too long, they start itching to grab those needles.
Read Up on the Health Benefits of Crafting (aka Knitting)
2. “Cable” to you has nothing to do with television.
Cable = cable knit, which is one of the more sophisticated stitches — but it’s oh-so easy for you. Cable-knit sweater, anyone? Cable-knit hat?
How to Knit a Cable Stitch
4. If you had it your way, everything in the house would be covered in yarn.
Who needs fabric when you can make your own? That couch doesn’t need a new slipcover — you’ll just knit one! Every teapot needs a cozy and every mantle deserves a knitted throw.
Make a Yarn-Covered Stool
5. When “yarn bombing” became a thing, you scoffed — you’ve been yarn bombing for years.
You’ve yarn-bombed your kids, you’ve yarn-bombed your cat, you’ve yarn-bombed all of the furniture … so what if they put yarn on a statue? Amateur hour.
Make a Yarn-Wrapped Candy Nest
6. You haven’t purchased a Christmas present in years.
You always DIY your gifts, and by “DIY,” you mean knit. You get a hat! And you get a hat! Everyone gets matching hats! Next year — customized hats with pom-poms! How about socks? A sweater?
Make Knit Pouches for This Year’s Christmas Gifts
7. Anything — you mean anything — can be used to knit.
Yarn is great and there is nothing greater than yarn. However, if given the chance to knit a skinny thread of marzipan, you’re gonna try. Admit it, you’ve seriously thought about all the different things you can knit.
8. You get nervous at airports.
Please don’t take my knitting needles. Please don’t take my double-pointed knitting needles. I need it to make a circle scarf. Please don’t take my knitting needles.
9. Actually, you’re not totally above checking a bag just for your yarn.
There are just too many types of yarn! Gossamer, hand-dyed, thick and woolly — How on earth are you going to choose? (We can actually help you out there….) You’ve stopped counting at some point, but you most definitely need all of that yarn for your final destination. What else are you going to do on the beach or at the hotel while watching basic-cable TV?
10. Your excuse when you’re late is, “Sorry I was knitting…”
You always tell yourself, “just a few more stiches,” but then you’re already five rows down, which might as well become ten rows, you know….
Make a Knit Hat
11. You seriously considered throwing a party for National Yarn Day.
National Yarn Day, which falls every year on October 17, is just an average day for everyone else (all those normals, that is). But to you, it is a well-deserved celebration for the best crafting material there is: yarn!
It’s Not Too Late: Throw Yourself an Awesome Knitting Party
12. You have far, far, far too many scarves.
A circle scarf, a skinny scarf, one scarf, two scarf, red scarf, blue scarf….
Get a Basic Scarf Pattern (Not That You Need It)
13. Actually, take that back. One can never have too many scarves.
And one can never give too many scarves to their loved ones. Are you chilly? Do you need a scarf?
14. In fact, you’re pretty sure in a few decades you’ll just be a walking pile of scarves.
The scarves keep getting longer and longer and you’re only getting more prolific. Every time you see a new, fun style of yarn, you just have to knit a scarf. You’ve got to knit a scarf with your self-dyed yarn, and you’ve got to use that one color-changing yarn.
15…And TBH, you’re pretty excited about it.
The last stage in becoming a knit freak is accepting your status. You have three knitting circles, you always have your knitting needles on you, and everyone you know makes fun of you for your habits. But you love it — there’s nothing better than knitting. So bring it on! Pile on the scarves — you’ll take it.